So, we have been trying since March to get pregnant again. I have become Clomid resistant, so this past cycle we used a drug called Letrozole. It worked, and I had one good follicle. We did IUI in June, and today I got the results. It was an unsuccessful cycle. Not pregnant. Still. This time around it feels all the more painful to hear the news. When we were trying to get pregnant with Sawyer we had two failed cycles, and while they were not happy moments, I had a much more positive outlook on the whole situation. With Sawyer we got pregnant on our first IUI cycle, and I was responding really well to Clomid.
This failed cycle just deflated me. We are going back to Williamsburg this weekend, and I hope that will help me move past this failed cycle and be more optimistic about trying again. I think it is just getting me down because I see all of these stories of people who hurt their children, or teenagers having babies, and I just don't fucking get it. I did everything right, and all I got was heartache. There are all of these people in my life who have no fucking problem getting pregnant and popping out babies, and here I am: getting blood drawn up to five times in a week, taking medicine that is meant for breast cancer, having a wand up my vagina almost every time I go to the office, and using these awful progesterone suppositories all in the hopes of getting pregnant again. Then, if it does work, I'll have a whole new set of hurdles. Make it through the first trimester, get a cerclage, be monitored frequently to make sure my cervix is not funneling, maybe bed rest...
This just sucks. Every time I see someone with a baby (like my neighbor), my heart hurts. Every time I go through this process again, my heart takes a roller coaster ride.
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