6 months

It has been six months since Sawyer died. Six months since my world was turned upside down. Sawyer has been dead longer than I was pregnant with him. It is a heart-wrenching thought. I think of what life should be like right now. I should have a chubby two month old, not a son who has been dead for six months. Instead, I keep trucking on, thinking at some point things have to get a little better. I am still angry and bitter with the universe and its cruelty. I am jealous of my two friends getting ready to welcome their little boys into the world. Nothing really feels better, I think I am just getting better at faking it.